Finding Balance: Where To Start

Hi Friends! The urge to have balance is one that I’ve been struggling with my whole life. Up until this year, I was an all-or-nothing person. Get everything done in one day so that I can relax and neglect responsibilities the rest of the week kinda gal. Recently, with my health in a plateau, I have decided to aim for balance in all of the ways that I can, even if they are minor. Today we will take a look at balance, what that means to you, and how you can incorporate these practices into your daily routine(s). 

An important part of finding balance in life is to let go of the guilt that comes with being “lazy.” Chances are, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done that you would like. This is even more stressful when you are the main carrier of your household’s mental load (read more here). With all of this being said, it can take a long time to rewire your brain and remember that you deserve to rest. Part of balance is work, sure, and the other part is rest. Like Yin/Yang you cannot have one without the other or balance doesn’t exist.

Balance: Thinking Back

I want you to think back to your early years: were you allowed to be a kid? Were you allowed to relax on your own terms? If not, you may have lingering trauma that has been blocking you from balance. Oftentimes, what we endure during childhood follows us throughout our lives, building and forming our personalities and thoughts. This isn’t always a bad thing, but if you’ve experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) you may have life-long blockages that will need to be worked through. Do not ignore these needs, your inner child needs healing too.

Read these statements: I love being productive at all hours of the day, it makes me feel accomplished and whole. I feel the most valuable when I have a lot on my plate. I especially enjoy taking care of other people, even when they don’t necessarily want help. Do you agree? If so, I’m about to tell you something you might not like:

Your worth is not based on productivity. 

This idea that we, in order to be valuable, must be moving and shaking at all times is rooted in insecurity. It is rooted in the idea that if you don’t give every breath you have to help other people, you aren’t good enough. Someone, at some point in your life, made you feel like you had to prove your worth and maybe it was even your own thoughts. This is where balance comes in.

The worst thing that you can do for your mental health is to live for other people’s opinions, schedules, and lives. Sometimes it is necessary, and even makes you feel good to help others. What I’m talking about is 24/7, 365, always on the go. Unfortunately, with our world moving faster than ever, there is pressure to keep “hustling.”

There is strain to keep moving, and to also be the best version of yourself, have a clean home, do activities with your kids and friends, keep a social life, exercise, feed yourself well, find some hobbies, walk your dog, make that doctor’s appointment, put in hours at work, get promoted, go back to school, make new friends, see your family, do your skincare, and make homemade meals… the list could, quite literally, go on forever.

My point is, there will never be enough hours in the day. 

I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, believe me. 

What I am here to tell you is this: Life wasn’t meant to be lived like this. The constant running to a finish line that isn’t really there isn’t sustainable, and you will get burnt out. You will run on empty, until you have no fumes left. But, there is no way around this, my friends. Run yourself into the ground, and you’ll have to claw your way out. 

Balance: Looking Ahead

How can you get out of this cycle? 

There are many different ways to find balance, and I recommend starting small. Like anything, it’s much easier to maintain small habits than overhauling your life in one day (remember, balance). My advice is to find one activity that you can do just for you, and do it once a week at least. Maybe this is going for ice cream alone, buying yourself a new book, stretching, anything that will give you some healthy “me time.” 

Do this without guilt, and see your balance start to adjust. 

To dig deeper into these feelings, see this week’s resource:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotion-information/201805/why-do-i-feel-so-inadequate

Thanks for reading, friends! Don’t forget to like, comment, subscribe, and share too! This will help grow the blog and also help me help more people!

Veronica

Weekly Wellness