Self-Image

Self Image

July 5, 2021

Hi Friends! Today we are going to be discussing the idea of an “image” or how you portray yourself to the world around you. We portray ourselves in all kinds of different forms. From social media posts to in person interactions, most likely our image is always on our mind. In some cases this isn’t necessarily harmful. When it becomes harmful is when image is the only thing we think about. Sometimes this can be due to social anxiety but don’t worry friends! I’m here to alleviate your fears. I hope you enjoy the new website redesign and check out my brand new patreon!! This week only, if you sign up to be a patron you will receive a free, personal thank you note from me! If you can’t contribute, please share. Thanks for reading as always!

Image can be many things. Sometimes it is important, don’t get me wrong. In situations where it is important to be kind, sympathetic, or professional image is definitely something to take into consideration. When it becomes harmful is when we can’t get our image off of our minds. How often have you gone out, for instance, in an outfit that you don’t feel 100% confident in? For some of you the answer is probably every day. You’re tugging at your shirt, adjusting your pants, fixing your hair, worried that every person’s eyes are on you. This can lead to a very uncomfortable time out.

According to Psychology Today: “We have an inside and an outside—an interior landscape and an exterior landscape. Our interior landscape is our subjective experience of our authentic self, while our exterior landscape is a product of our worldview. The two together create a psychosocial dynamic, but that dynamic has only one reference point, leaving us balancing self- and other-perception. When this delicate balance shifts because we begin seeking approval or attempting to control outcomes, we become externally focused and can literally lose sight of our essential nature. That essential nature is different from the ego-self—the self-image fed and influenced by what is outside of us.”

In short, we care because we are afraid of being cast-out. It is normal. When we are worried about every little thing we’re doing in the presence of others, however, it can be exhausting. In my personal life I am in the midst of a life shift. Something I had to let go of was my image. The preconceived notion that other people had about me. There are two realities. The way you see the world, and the way the world sees you. It can be worrisome to think about the fact that other people might notice you tripping but can I let you in on a secret? More often than not people are way too concerned with their own image and actions to notice yours. It’s true and more importantly something that I want you to remember the next time you’re out and about and start feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed over things that, I promise you, aren’t uncomfortable or embarrassing to other people.

I have some techniques that have helped me in the past that I’m sure I’ll use time and time again. I’d love to help you overcome that fear of image, too. If there is an outfit that I think is cute but I’m not sure how it looks on my body, I ask myself “how would I feel if I saw someone else wearing this?” The answer is almost always that I would love it. So I wear it. Clothes are made to fit your body. Your body is not made to fit the clothes. One of my favorite things to remember is this:

“What other people think of me is none of my business.”

This rings incredibly true especially when it comes to gossip. We’ve all been on both sides of it. The talking or being the one discussed. In order to let go of the anxiety, we need to let go of control. The idea that we can control the way every single person sees us is just not something that’s feasible. Besides that, it’s exhausting. Everybody goes through hard times. That’s OK. As long as you continue to be kind to others there is no reason to apologize or feel bad for having a hard time. I still struggle with this myself. When you’re the person everybody expects to be fine because you’re strong, it’s tough sometimes. All we can do is remember to take time for ourselves. At the end of the day, we have to have our own backs. I’ve got yours, too. And I hope you have mine. The next time you go out and find yourself distracted by the way you think you look, remember this. You look beautiful. Every single person is beautiful in their own, unique way. You got this.